How To Talk So Kids Can Learn was, in my opinion, an excellent book. Sure, many of the suggestions were very simple, ridiculously simple even, and yes, the cartoons took that simplification to a suffocatingly cute level, but the content was still good and I think I learned a lot.
For example, in Chapter 5, just thinking about how neither praise nor criticism functions as a motivator as well as simple description of a student's behavior made me realize that I could use the tactic on myself. So frequently, I find myself telling myself how poorly I'm doing, what I'm doing wrong. A common reaction to this self-deprecation is an internal voice reassuring me that, actually, I'm awesome. But I can never quite accept the compliments I mentally manifest for myself. If I'm awesome, why am I do I always feel like I'm behind?
Just before writing this blog post, I was feeling tired and demotivated. Instead of slapping myself to wake up and feverishly meditating on a mantra like "You're capable, you're motivated, good job let's keep going," I calmly reviewed what I had accomplished. Almost immediately I found myself feeling better, I had already done so much!
The last three chapters, 6,7 and 8, had some good information too. Chapter 6 went over how to free children from roles they get stuck in. I can use this with my friends who have accepted behavior as part of their identities that they would be better off without. It's interested how much we are affected by others' perceptions of us.
Chapter 7 went over how important the Parent/Teacher relationship is. Basically, teachers and parents have very similar needs to a typical human when interacting with others: Appreciation and acknowledgement of their efforts, respect and the willingness of the other party to work with them.
Chapter 8 was the shortest and most profound. If we can employ tactics in our interactions with others (our students especially) that indicate good listening, inspire confidence, reaffirm accomplishments, reinforce constructive roles and radiate respect we can improve our lives and the lives of those we wish to help. It sounds simple, and that's because it is.
I learned a lot from this book, I even liked the cartoons.
I definitely had a reality check when the book suggested that "great job" is not good enough feedback. I immediately stopped grading papers with "good job" and started including actual feedback. It takes me a lot longer to get through papers, but if I think back, I really appreciated when my own teachers included specific comments on what I did well and what I struggled with.
ReplyDeleteThe section on roles also really opened my eyes. As long as people continue to be labeled, they either meld themselves into those expectations, or fret over not being able to live up to the label. I definitely try a lot harder to praise specifically and outside of labels, as well as be constructive without assigning a role. I thought it was completely appropriate that this book outlined how hard it was to put new strategies into practice.